Remembering a Hamster Named Max by Erik Brush, BAHS Class of 1983
Remembering a Hamster Named Max
You will have to forgive my fuzziness/rusty memory but the specific date is lost to me, although I believe it all happened some time in 1982. However the event is an amusing story that I have shared with only a few people. I will share it now in a sort of confession to those who were unwittingly duped by two high schoolers with good intentions and a twisted bit of humorous luck.
The tale happens like this. My little sister had a hamster named aMax, a
golden hamster that she was very attached to. It died and she was really crushed. I buried it for her in our backyard. At the time, my father was a civilian working for the Army/Air Force as a job classifier. He was a GS-12, but as a government contracted civilian he was not entitled to government housing. We lived on the economy down the street from General Boatner. His son Pete used to ride our bus. Directly behind the house we lived in was Andy Yoon ‘83, the Korean Consul General’s son.
But my favorite bud at the time who also hung out with me and rode the same bus was Markus Fischler ‘84. Markus’s mother was American but had remarried a German man and he attended the school as a local national. Markus was an interesting character and among many other fascinating aspects, he served on “flag duty” and wound up pulling some strings to get me on as well. We had to raise the American flag for the school and being on flag duty meant that I got to be five minutes late to first period. It was a nice perk. I also got to leave sixth period fifteen minutes before everyone else because we had to take down and fold up and secure the flag. This meant not being crushed against the lockers when leaving the crowded hallways. We’d be waiting for everyone on the bus when the bell rang. What was not to like, right? So, back to my sister and her dead hamster Max. My sister attended an elementary school down the road from BAHS. Her bus would pass by our school in the morning a while after we were already in class. So to make her feel better I promised her that we would fly the flag at half-mast in memory of Max (I didn’t expect that it would stay there too long, and I certainly had no idea of what was about to come). I had an old harmonica, which I played fairly well and at Markus’s suggestion when I shared with him what I wanted to do, I grabbed the harmonica and brought it along to play Taps for Max.
When we arrived we solemnly raised the flag (or rather, Markus did, as I played Taps) all the way up to the top of the flagpole and then lowered it to half-mast and tied it off. We went inside and started to go to our lockers and the vice principal came rushing out of the office having spotted the flag and being perplexed, asked us why the flag was flying at half- mast. Who had died?
In trepidation I prepared myself for having to raise it to full mast and suffer the consequences for our decision. But Markus was sharp and fast on his toes. Before I could say anything he shook his head and looked shocked and disgusted at the man. His little speech was powerful and effective. It went roughly like this:
“Are you kidding me sir? You are the VICE PRINCIPAL of an American Armed Forces School, serving our troops and our great nation and YOU don’t know who died? SHAME on you sir!”
Not wanting to look like he didn’t know, the man immediately lit up as if recalling who it was and said: “OHHHHHHHHH of course. I’m glad you guys remembered. Sorry about that. Carry on!”
We were dismissed trying hard to bite back our laughter knowing that he had bought it. As he started back down the hall the principle, Dr. Jack stopped him and we overheard him ask, “So who was it that died?” And Mr. Chavies shook his head and used our line on him.
“We’re here in Berlin serving the US military and YOU don’t remember who died? Shame on you!”
Funnier still Dr. Jack immediately nodded going, “OH yeah. Okay,” and then vanished back into the office.
Markus and I were about to pee our pants laughing. So the flag remained even though we had to lower it back once at second period and gave the attendance office person who did it the riot act. It just so happened that I worked at the attendance office during fourth period and it was during that time that an Air Force Colonel came by to pick his daughter up for a medical appointment. As part of my duties I went to the classroom to pull the girl from class and make sure she went to the attendance office to meet up with her father.
Upon my return the man asked us if we were aware that our flag was flying at half-mast. I figured it had worked with two senior school staff members; why not try it on this guy, right? So I hammed it up. Head shaking and eyes looking at him in surprise.
“You’re an Army officer sir! I cannot believe that you don’t know who died! You should be ashamed of yourself!”
He had the EXACT same reaction as the others had, but on top of this he called Tempelhof Air Base in a panic and insisted that they get on the horn and lower all the flags to half-mast immediately. This soon spread to Army base and HQ. Flags everywhere were dropped to half-mast.
But everyone was confused and asking who in the hell had died?
My mother worked at ITT Tours and Travel. Now I knew that the Air Force folks had dropped the flags. But I was not aware that this had spread everywhere. So when I got home my sister who had seen the flags everywhere flying at half-mast for Max the Hamster was elated.
My mother, however, got home and was very confused. Talking about how they were at work and suddenly there was a phone call and the GI’s went outside and lowered the flag to half-mast. But nobody could figure out who had died?
I was in hysterics laughing. I literally fell to the floor and laughed until it hurt in my gut and I was coughing. My mom thought I had gone nuts. I finally regained my composure and explained that, “It was Max the Hamster mom!”
She was not at all happy about that, worrying that we were going to get kicked out of Berlin if anyone figured out the stunt that we had pulled. Nothing ever came of it. But I will always remember the day that Max the Hamster was honored.
Erik Brush, Class of 1983 1981-1983
